Buddhist philosophy says that greed, anger, and foolishness are the three main poisons in life, and we have them all. One is predominant, and I can say, hand on heart, mine has always been anger. However, over the last ten years, I have had an extraordinary journey of self-healing, always a work in progress, but along this journey, which has taken me all over the world into many modalities, traditions, some really crazy stuff, and some simple, practical grounding tools that really move the needle. 

I’m going to save you time and some epic failures by sharing the things I know that actually work…

My first top tip for managing anger:

Right now, what’s going on in the world has the potential to make you angry, frustrated, overwhelmed, anxious, so it’s imperative to have a toolkit to help you, because, ultimately, the happier we are: the more creative we can be, the more solution orientated we become, the more we wish to and are able to help other people, and can have fun along the way. And you know what, I didn’t sign up to be miserable all the time. You need a little bit of misery just so you understand what happiness is, but hey, ultimately, I know which one I enjoy more.

Managing anger using breath

First tip for managing anger is to use breath. If you’re getting an email or receiving the trigger in private, then you’ve got a whole host of things you can do before you respond, and I recommend you put time between being triggered and responding. But if you’re face-to-face with somebody and you’re triggered, taking a breath in and exhaling that energy is going to be the fastest root to allow you to get conscious so you can respond, rather than react. And why breath? Because breath is the most amazing thing for moving energy really quickly

Do you remember when you were a child and were told to count to ten when you got angry? This is parenting by literally giving yourself just a bit of space, even just a conscious breath, with you really bringing your awareness to the fact that you’re suddenly feeling anger, and it’s that difference between going, “I am angry,” and that, “I’m feeling it.” It creates a sense that you are a consciousness that is bigger than just the emotions you feel. That is a game-changing thought. It’s a simple one, but it’s quite profound when you start to use it and realize that your feelings are not all of you.

Feelings are energies that move through you, but are not you. No one is angry all the time, no one is sad all the time. These things ebb and flow through, so to identify ourselves purely with them is unhelpful and not true. 

This does not mean, however, that they are ‘bad’. Greed, anger, and foolishness are the three main poisons because they can be destructive, but when the energy is consciously harnessed with awareness, it can catalyze breakthroughs in behaviour and patterns.  For example, sacred rage can be used to allow you to find the strength to leave a violent relationship, stand up to an oppressor or stop self-sabotaging patterns.

A deep slow breath brings in that awareness that this is an energy that’s coming up for you to release, it’s not something that you are. And once you are consciously aware of the sensation being in the body, not just blindly allowing the monkey mind to create narratives about the sensations you are experiencing, you become empowered to act from a different place. 

Then the trigger can become a call to release, a call to action, a breakthrough…it all starts with a breath.

The head-to-heart living community is open to all: those who have paved the way on the conscious path and those newly awakening. 

I offer 1-1 coaching on navigating the expansion in consciousness.  Keeping you grounded, creative and rooted in your heart as we ride the waves.

If you’re feeling fed up with anger taking the wheel, it might be time for a change. I’ve been on quite the journey myself, exploring different paths to healing trauma and creating a life you love.

Not quite ready to move ahead with 1-1 coaching or our Catalyst programme? Join our newsletter community instead for access to additional tips and techniques. 

If you’re ready to choose a more empowered life, dive in.